You'll know it then
by AmeliaEverdeen
Summary: Inspired by a prompt on tumblr. On his wedding day Matthew finds himself more than nervous about his upcoming night with Mary, so he seeks the help of a well known irishman in the family to know what to expect.


**A/N: **_This was inspired by a prompt on tumblr. I know I know, where are my multichaps? Believe me I know and I'm sorry, but at least until next week life is too stressful to put down something really worth while. Anyway I hope you like this one! Reviews are love!_

* * *

Matthew could not remember seeing Downton Abbey's hall any more crowded. When his friend from university had suddenly cancelled on him, he had sighed and imagined being in ever greater minority, but he certainly couldn't have expected Robert inviting half of England to his and Mary's wedding! He had even shaken hands with a member of the Royal family, for Christ's sake!

What maybe had bothered Matthew the most though, was that as soon as their first dance as husband and wife was over, they had been pulled apart in different directions to be introduced to _this _duke or _that_ viscount and so on. He had thought that was their special day, that it was going to be all about Matthew and Mary, but it turned out that (at least in that moment) it was really about the future Earl and Countess of Grantham.

Matthew's gaze wondered through the hall to look for his wife (_His_ _wife! _Wasn't that exciting?!), but when he found her he realized she was busy meeting some very important people and looked so happy Matthew could not bring himself to interrupt her. As more and more people in elegant gowns were approaching him to shake his hand, Matthew's curious gaze landed on the only person in the room who looked even more uncomfortable to be around so much aristocracy than he did.

Tom was leaning on the wall and sipping a little bit of champagne as Carson eyed him carefully. His wife had abandoned him as well and Matthew felt it was his duty (but truly his pleasure) to go and keep company to his new brother-in-law.

When he saw Matthew approaching, Tom's face lit up in a grateful smile, "I'm really glad you listened to me last night." he teased lifting his champagne flute as a greeting.

"Well, you gave a really memorable pep talk." Matthew convened as they turned their head to the crowd that was so alien to the both of them.

"Lady Mary looks beautiful, it would have been a shame to miss it."

"She does, doesn't she?" Matthew replied dreamily, and Tom grinned as he caught that particular spark in the groom's blue eyes.

"I bet this is a wedding night you've been extremely looking forward to." the irishman teased boldly.

As soon as the words left his best man's mouth, Matthew's cheek went crimson red. It was a simple sentence and a quite common phrase to hear on one's wedding day, but Matthew's mind had been so completely elsewhere between Mr Swire's inheritance and the Crawley family's relations, that it had hit him all at once. That night all the rules and barriers of propriety were going to come down. He was going to kiss Mary, _really _kiss her, and run his fingers to her beautiful loose hair, then he would have taken that beautiful dress off of her and … _God_ it was really too much, Matthew could practically feel his hears burning. But then another thought crept in.

"As a matter of fact …" he found himself stammering, " I find myself being rather nervous about it," he admitted, "do you have any advise for me? I don't think I could ever talk to Robert about this …"

"Advice?" Tom blinked clueless, " You mean you've never …?" he asked awkwardly as Matthew nodded, "Not even during the war? I've heard _many_ things about France …"

"Oh, no! I couldn't have, I was spoken for!" Matthew explained and watched as Tom chuckled and gave him a look that said that both of them knew really well how Matthew's reasons had not stopped many men during those awful years. " But this mean you had … Even before Sybil?"

"I grew up on a farm, Mr Craw—Matthew." Tom replied, "Farm girls do not really care about propriety such as the women from your lot." he explained, "But anyway … I wouldn't worry about tonight, I'd say that after almost ten years your little friend _down there_ will be more than happy to see Mary tonight." Matthew swallowed loudly and couldn't bring himself to answer Tom's assertion. "Oh, I'm sorry!" Tom hurried clumsily, "I haven't quite figured out yet how openly I am allowed to speak to you now!"

"No, no!" Matthew assured him quickly, "Please don't worry about that! I was the one who brought up the topic in the first place!" when Tom seemed to look calmer, Matthew took a deep and decided to reply, "But to answer to you … _yes_, my little friend is _pretty happy_ already … I'm just really worried that I will get the … _dynamic_ of it all wrong."

Tom looked at Matthew carefully, reading the frustration in his eyes. The man really needed a pat on the back. "There is no need to be nervous, I assure you …" he said with a sincere smile, " … because when you hold the woman you love in your arms _everything_ will come naturally."

Matthew felt surprisingly comforted by Tom's words. He rose his gaze and silently glanced at Mary in the distance, she was breathtaking. He suddenly felt incredibly stupid, there was no reason to doubt himself because he knew the love he had for that woman was strong enough to move mountains.

"But what if – what if I don't … _please _her enough?" Matthew couldn't help asking while biting his lower lip.

Now it was Tom's turn to feel uncomfortable. One thing was learning to call the newlywed by their christian names, but he was pretty sure imaging the two of them pleasuring each other was still definitely inappropriate. "Why wouldn't you? She loves you." he replied sincerely. Regardless the nervousness in his tone he was being honest. He had seen how Matthew and Mary had loved each other for so many years, and for him and Sybil it had always been more than enough.

Matthew had promised himself he wouldn't have brought it up. Really, it was unfair to Mary, but as the anxiety had come all over him at once he couldn't help it. Mary had been with someone else while he hadn't, and it wasn't that he blamed her or anything … he simply was afraid he wasn't going to be enough. But how to explain it all to Tom, without giving Mary's secret away?

"I know she loves me, I do … But how do I know for sure that what I'm doing is alright? How do I know she wants me as much as I want her?"

Before his embarrassing monologue could go any further, Tom gestured for him to shut up and to some extent Matthew was glad he did. Tom looked at him very seriously holding his grip on Matthew's shoulder very firmly, "I'll tell you what," he began in his thick irish accent, "It may sounds odd but when you'll kiss her tonight, _really kiss her_, then you'll know."

A few hours and a couple of awkward conversations later Matthew was worn out. He was pretty sure Robert had introduced him to all of the three hundred guests and the only occasion in which he had been able to touch his wife ( and we're talking barely brushing his hands on her shoulders or her waist) had been while posing for the numerous family photographs. If he had to endure another one of those flashes on his face, he was sure he was going to loose his eyesight.

Now Mary was nowhere to be seen, and probably off to show her ring to yet another marchioness, so Matthew decided to take advantage of the sudden indifference towards him to sneak outside the great hall. In one of the secluded corridors of the ground floor, in the unexpected company of Robert's collection of labrador's pictures, Matthew was finally able to find his peace of mind.

"Matthew darling, is that you?" a steady voice shook him from his trance. Matthew looked up to meet Mary's figure approaching him in her beautiful white dress. He hadn't really had a chance to get a good look at her, a proper attentive look far away from their parents' eyes. As she came closer, Matthew felt his chest tighten and the air leaving his lungs, and he swallowed nervously repressing the urges his body was improperly suggesting him when he met her beautiful concerned look.

"I'm alright, darling. I'm just – I'm sorry, but I'm a little worn out." he admitted, finding it very hard to formulate anything more coherent.

"That's alright," Mary assured him, "I am too." she said and smiled that special half smile she only saved for him. Matthew did not reply and Mary took one step closer and simply started to play with his tie, pretending to adjust it. Matthew could read it perfectly the spark in her eyes and in the tremble of her hands, the primal need to touch him and the great disbelief to know that they now actually could. Matthew felt his breath becoming heavier and without thinking twice he place his hands over her and rested them on his chest. He smiled when he saw the blush colouring her cheeks and he had to catch his breath when she whispered, "I cannot possibly wait for tonight."

Just as a natural reflex his lips found their place on hers, gently brushing at first, but teasing and sucking then. One hand hand found his way to the back of her neck, while the other rested on the curve of her waist, pulling her closer. Mary moaned as she felt the pressure of his body against hers and by doing so she opened her mouth slightly, allowing him to deepen their kiss. Now that even tongues were involved (something that propriety had never really allowed before), Mary felt no more need to conform herself to any rules and let herself go completely into the kiss. Her hands were simply not content anymore with laying playing around his neck, so she proceeded to run her fingers through those shiny golden locks she had been fantasising for such a long time, too much time. The kiss went on and on as none of them was able to stop it until they both heard a slight but distinct coughing at their backs.

The rhythm of their kiss decreased but they never really parted until they both realized the person standing beside them was none other than the Dowager Countess herself. Matthew froze and gulped as he noticed Mary blushing violently biting her lip. Violet on the other hand, gave them an all-knowing look.

"I know it must be about time for the both of you," she began without losing her composure, " but it really is a matter of forty more minutes, one hour maximum … Do you think you can keep you hands off each other until then?"

"Y—yes," Mary stammered under her grandmother's gaze, " Yes granny, of course we can." she replied and quickly walked to the old woman's side. She turned her head then and looked at Matthew in a surprisingly shy manner, but he smiled and suggested to go on without him.

It was then, as he noticed he needed a minute to be able to join the rest of the party again, that Matthew realized how Tom had been absolutely right. It was only one kiss but he already knew. Yes, _that's right_, he thought as huge boyish grin lit up his face, only … now waiting for one more hour was going to be way more difficult.


End file.
